Granny & Maya & The SnortsA Story From When Maya Was Three

Invaded by Snorts!
Oh, it was a fine June morning, the sun had been out for hours and the birds were singing and all was very right with the world. Missy and Granny were sound asleep, with Granny having a wonderful dream about Maya, because it was only 6:00, and not time to get up yet. The cool breeze that came in the open bedroom window was refreshing, and the bird song was like a lullaby, and because they are both used to living in Alaska, the light didn't bother them at all.

And then . . . and then . . . the gentle morning sounds were disrupted by a cacophony of sheer, ugly noise! Missy jumped off the bed and Granny sat straight up, startled at this sound so very, very early, and Granny checked her watch, and it said 6:01. "What on earth," said Granny, as she stood up to look out the window, although she knew very well what on earth, she just couldn't believe it! Sure enough, there they were on the corner not 50 feet from Granny's window -- heavy road building equipment. Tractors. Loaders. A huge dump truck. Now, they had been parked there the night before, because there had been work being done on Gold Street (just a two building block away) and on 8th Street (right in front of her house) for over a month now. But they usually didn't start until 7:00!

Granny just stood looking out of her window at all these huge yellow machines, and she could hardly believe that they would really start at 6:01 in the morning! (And Granny wasn't the only one. All of the people on her hill were stumbling around in an early morning fog wondering why on earth this was happening to them.)

Roar, roar, roar went the machines. Beep, beep, beep they said as they backed up. Granny just shook her head. "This," Granny said to Missy, "reminds me of the book Are You My Mother? and the bird who meets the big piece of heavy equipment and calls it a snort. Missy, we have been invaded by snorts! Snorts roaring. Snorts beeping. Snorts rumbling. Snorts snorting." So, since obviously they were not going to get back to sleep, Granny got up and got dressed (and even though she had been invaded by snorts, Granny still thought about Maya) and went down stairs. Roar, roar, roar went the machines. Beep, beep, beep as they backed up. Snort, snort, snort, rumble, rumble, rumble. "Lawsy me," said Granny, (feeling quite old fashioned to be using such an expression) "it isn't bad enough that we can't sleep, we can't even think in this noise!" And Missy went right over and bit the cilantro plant for comfort.

And later that morning, when it was time to go to work, Granny opened the door to go out and Missy started to go outdoors to check her territory like she does every single day when the weather is fine and most days when it is not, and one of those snorts did a rumble just then and Missy turned around and went right back inside. "Let the territory take care of itself," she seemed to say, "today, I need to take care of myself." Granny walked down the hill to her office, and there, right outside her office window, were more snorts! Roar, roar, roar, beep, beep, beep, rumble, rumble, rumble, snort, snort, snort. "Oh," said Granny, "what a day I'm having! No escape at all." And when she turned on her computer (and typed in her magic power-on password, Moona, to make it work) she put a CD of 40s music in the CD drive and sang along with Jimmy Dorsey and Eddy Duchin and Shep Fields, and that cheered her up. But, still, all day long, snort, snort, roar, roar, beep, beep, rumble, rumble right outside her window and she couldn't close the window, because it was already 63 degrees and she would roast without it open. So Granny wrote it all down and mailed it to Maya as a story.

They Say Beep, Beep, Beep
Now, Granny has received many good phone calls in her life. "When can you start your new job?" is one she has liked."Would you like to go to a movie (or out to dinner)?" is always fun. "Ted said the L word," and "Ted and I are getting married," and "Ted and I are going to have a baby" were three of the most outstanding in the entire world. And five days after Granny mailed the story to Maya, she received such a wonderful call, it may be the very best of them all (although the three about Ted and Julie and the baby are right up there).

As she was finishing dinner the phone rang. When she answered, it was Maya's Mama, and she said, "Would you like to talk to Maya?" What a silly question. There is never a minute of her life that Granny wouldn't like to talk to Maya.

So, Maya got on the phone, and she said, "Granny, they're in your yard and in your house! They say beep, beep, beep," she beeped in a high, beepy little voice. "They say rumble, rumble, rumble," she rumbled in a gruff, rumbly little voice. "There are snorts in your yard!"

"Yes, Maya," said Granny, "there are snorts in my yard and they say beep, beep, beep, and rumble, rumble, rumble."

"Yes, Granny, I played in the sandbox and I got all wet and dirty," said Maya, telling Granny about the sandbox with the water and sand that she played in.

"Oh, my," said Granny, "did you get sand in your hair?" "No, I got it on my belly," said Maya. "Well," said Granny, "that's better than in your hair. It is easier to get off of your belly than out of your hair."

And then Maya told Granny all of her news. She told her about going to see the fireworks, "they made a blond ponytail, like Jewel and Sara. They go pop, pop, pop. They work hard, hard, hard." And she told Granny about going to the zoo "I saw Rama and Rajah," she said, talking about the elephants. "And, Granny, when I went to San Francisco, I saw BART." "Dado is at work," said Maya, "he is at 1-0-1-7, KKIQ."

"Are you listening to Dado on the radio now?" asked Granny. "No, I'm talking to you," said Maya.

What fun Maya has been having! How delightfully she tells about it. And, when it was time to get off the phone, Maya said, "I love you, Granny." And Granny said, "I love you, too, Maya." And the next morning when Granny woke up, the first thing she thought was "They say beep, beep, beep. They say rumble, rumble, rumble." And she was very happy.