Friday, January 19, 2007

In A Nutshell

In a Nutshell

A place set aside to answer 201 autobiographical questions from a mother for her daughter. This may take awhile... join us if you like.

4. If, growing up, I had any trouble with my dad, it was in this area:

Since my father was gone before I grew up, I guess the trouble was missing him. Like all children who lose a parent, however that happens, I used to wonder how my life would be different if he had lived. Certainly I wouldn't have gone to boarding school, or later to live with my great-aunt. Since I wouldn't have gone to live with Auntie, I wouldn't have ever met Michael, and Julie wouldn't exist. We might have continued to move a lot, but it would not have been to the same places we moved with Daddy's job. I wouldn't have known Daddy nor the aunts, uncles, and boy cousins he brought into the family. I would never have heard about his sister Fancia and her pet lion. No one would have ever gotten mad at me and sputtered, to my everlasting amusement, the list of all 13 of his siblings before he got to me, "Fancia, Merle, Thelma, Patrick, Michael . . ." Since my father was descended from British colonials, like my mother, and one more recent British immigrant, there would not have been the exposure to recent Irish and German culture.

I would have seen my Hunt relatives more (they disappeared from my life when Daddy adopted us) and known more stories from his side of the family. I would have had contact with my cousins, Roseanne and Karen, who I don't ever remember meeting. Someone would have told me when my grandmother Hunt and Uncle Leland died in time for me to go to the funerals.

But, I know now, what I didn't know then -- my father would have treated me differently in some areas than Daddy did, but he wouldn't have been the all-indulgent parent I used to fantasize about. As I got to be a teenager, there would have been conflict, just as there is with all daughters and the fathers who try to keep them safe. My life would have had problems, just different problems. It's unlikely that I would currently be thin or rich or famous, all of which I imagined at various times in my adult life would be so.


J said...

Quite a fantasy dad you had for awhile, huh? Maybe we'd all be famous, living in New York off of the riches of your career on Broadway...HA!

kenju said...

As a child and a teen (being adopted) I fantasized that my birth parents would seek me out and I would discover that they were rich and famous - and we would all live happily ever after.Of course, that didn't happen. I did later on meet my birth mom, but she was none of those either...LOL

gawilli said...

Often times what I see in my mind's eye is so much more palatable than reality. Then on the other had, reality is pretty darn good, too!