In A NutshellIV

In a Nutshell

A place set aside to answer 201 autobiographical questions from a mother for her daughter. This may take awhile... join us if you like.

4. If, growing up, I had any trouble with my dad, it was in this area:

Since my father was gone before I grew up, I guess the trouble was missing him. Like all children who lose a parent, however that happens, I used to wonder how my life would be different if he had lived. Certainly I wouldn't have gone to boarding school, or later to live with my great-aunt. Since I wouldn't have gone to live with Auntie, I wouldn't have ever met Michael, and Julie wouldn't exist. We might have continued to move a lot, but it would not have been to the same places we moved with Daddy's job. I wouldn't have known Daddy nor the aunts, uncles, and boy cousins he brought into the family. I would never have heard about his sister Fancia and her pet lion. No one would have ever gotten mad at me and sputtered, to my everlasting amusement, the list of all 13 of his siblings before he got to me, "Fancia, Merle, Thelma, Patrick, Michael . . ." Since my father was descended from British colonials, like my mother, and one more recent British immigrant, there would not have been the exposure to recent Irish and German culture.

I would have seen my Hunt relatives more (they disappeared from my life when Daddy adopted us) and known more stories from his side of the family. I would have had contact with my cousins, Roseanne and Karen, who I don't ever remember meeting. Someone would have told me when my grandmother Hunt and Uncle Leland died in time for me to go to the funerals.

But, I know now, what I didn't know then -- my father would have treated me differently in some areas than Daddy did, but he wouldn't have been the all-indulgent parent I used to fantasize about. As I got to be a teenager, there would have been conflict, just as there is with all daughters and the fathers who try to keep them safe. My life would have had problems, just different problems. It's unlikely that I would currently be thin or rich or famous, all of which I imagined at various times in my adult life would be so.