Saturday, June 16, 2007

Beauty Hints

When I was in my early 30s, I read a beauty hint that suggested soaking a cotton ball in your signature scent and wearing it between your breasts. Your body heat, so the theory went, would cause the scent to last all day. So, the next time I went to the store I bought some and tried it out.

About half an hour later, my breasts began to burn. I slipped into the bathroom, checked and discovered that the writer of that hint obviously didn't have cleavage. I had two painful, red circles, one on each breast, where the top layer of skin had burned away. Just removing the cotton ball did no good, because when skinned circle met skinned circle, it still burned like all get out.

So I spent the next week with band aids on my boobs. Anyone know what to do with 99 useless cotton balls?

(You didn't think I'd taken a picture of my poor, abused breasts, did you?)


Cherry said...

Painful, but I'm sure your bosom smelled lovely!

kerrdeLune (cate) said...

Hm.. . . no idea what to do with the cottonballs, but I did try this and with the same results. It hurt, and the idea was laid to rest - quickly!

naomi dagen bloom said...

was that the same magazine that suggested painting a rug on the floor as an economical way to decorate an apartment?

Deja Pseu said...


Betty said...

Ouch! I'm having sympathy pains just thinking about it.

Joy Des Jardins said...

Ouch...I would have been in the same predicament. I wonder how many others suffered the same outcome. Maybe you all should have mailed your unused cotton balls to them in protest....and demanded more bandaids.