Thursday, June 21, 2007

What They Really Saw

Chapter 1: Richard
One day, a very long time ago, when Maya's Uncle Richard was a five year old boy called Richard, and her Mama was a three year old girl called Julie, and her Granny was a young woman called Mom, they all lived in Redwood City in a little house with a staircase from the front door to the living room. And one day Richard came into the kitchen where Mom was washing the lunch dishes and he said "Mom, there is a black widow on the stairs." And Mom (in the classic manner of Moms the world over) said, "That's nice dear. Now go play in the yard."

So, Richard went down the stairs and played in the yard, and in a little while Mom finished the dishes and took the garbage out. And when she walked down those stairs, what do you think she saw? That's right. A black widow. Right there on the stairs, where she had sent her only son to go out to the backyard. So, she got a broom and killed it.

Chapter 2: Elzie
Now, Maya may not know that her Mama Julie and her Uncle Richard have a cousin named Elzie, but they do. So, a few years before Richard saw the black widow, Elzie was living on a homestead in Alaska with his mother and father and two sisters and brother and aunt and uncle and five cousins. All the grown-ups were in town working, except Elzie's Auntie Lori and all of the children (all nine of them) were playing in the yard and Auntie Lori (who was Elzie's cousins' mom) was washing clothes when Elzie came in and said, "Auntie Lori, there is a bear in the yard."

And Auntie Lori (in the classic manner of moms the world over) said, "That's nice dear, go out and play in the yard." So he did. In a little while, Auntie Lori took the basket of clothes outside to hang on the clothes line, and what do you think she saw? That's right, a bear! Right out in the yard, where she had sent Elzie to play with the other children. So she got the 30-06 to shoot it, but the rifle wouldn't shoot. Then she became very clever and got a transistor radio, turned it on real loud, and chased the bear away with that.

And when her husband and her brother got home from work that night, they explained to Lori about the safety and taught her to shoot a riflt.

The Lessons
1. Mothers the world over need to start listening to what their children say.
2. Don't leave children in the woods with someone who doesn't know how to shoot bears.


Joy Des Jardins said...

Two very good lessons to be learned J. Good's a blessing neither one of those situations didn't blow up in their faces.

Betty said...

When I was two, my mother, noticing that I had been awfully quiet for a long time, found me playing with a tarantula. I would walk my fingers toward it and pull them back when it jumped. It made me laugh, but it made her get a box and scoop it up into it. When daddy got home, he said "What's in the box?" Mother said, "A tarantula - Betty was playing with it in the living room." He just chuckled. His chuckling stopped when he opened the box. :)

Chancy said...

I wonder if the radio played loud rock and roll music to scare the bear away :)

"Good Golly Miss Molly"

Maya's Granny said...

Yes, I think it was loud rock and roll. Or country western.

Tabor said...

Not opera?

Maya's Granny said...

I don't think you could find opera on the radio in the Alaskan interior in those days. Otherwise, perhaps bears would like it.

Maya's Granny said...

Tarantulas are not dangerous. I've held them many a time, and they are kind of soft to pet. I have no idea what they think of us, but I don't suppose that is any more my business than what other people think of me. Although, I wouldn't want to frighten one.