Missy Takes The Cheese

Missy and her dear friend, Abe. Do click and enlarge.
I wrote this for Maya when she was about five and Missy was still alive. How different little, four and a half pound Missy was from these ten and twelve pound Hooligans who live with me now. They would do this with almost anything I eat.

Now, Maya knows that Granny lives in a little apartment in Juneau, Alaska, with Missy. And Missy is a very sweet little grey cat, who is polite and loving and usually well behaved. Once upon a time, Missy had the best manners in the world. She knew that cat food was for her and people food was for Granny and she seldom asked for people food. Oh, when Granny opened a can of tuna, Missy would meow politely and Granny would drain the juice into a bowl for her. And when Granny ate ice cream, Missy would wait patiently and Granny would let her lick the bowl. And when Granny ate chicken, Missy would wait patiently and Granny would give her a bite or two — particularly, if it was Kentucky Fried Chicken, Granny would feed her some of the skin. But, Missy was always polite about it and waited patiently.

Then, one day Granny was in Carr's hunting for food and what did she find, but Limburger cheese. Now, Granny loves Limburger cheese and she hadn't had any in a long time, so she made sure she had the ripest one in the cheese case and scooped it right up and put it in her cart. When she got home she put it in a jar, because Limburger cheese has a very strong smell (or, as Maya would say, it stinks). And if she just put it in the refrigerator like it was, all the food in the refrigerator would smell of Limburger cheese. And whereas that is a good smell for cheese, it isn't very appetizing for strawberries. And she kept the jar in the refrigerator.

A couple of days later, Granny decided to eat some of that wonderful Limburger cheese so she got the jar out and put it on the counter so that the cheese would warm up — because all cheese tastes better warm than cold but particularly Limburger. And about an hour later Granny took the bread knife and a table knife and a plate and the sourdough bread and the jar of cheese to the table. She sliced herself a slice of sourdough. Then she opened the jar.

Whang! There was Missy, on the table! "Meow, meow, meow-ow-ow!!!!!" exclaimed Missy, which in cat means "Out of the way, where's mine?" Granny was astonished. Missy was putting her little nose right on the package of cheese! What made Granny's Little Mama and Maya's Mama and Uncle Richard turn pale (the smell of Limburger) made Missy totally lose all idea of what manners were. She smelled it — to a cat, just like to Granny and Granny's Papa, it smelled like heaven. She wanted it.

Granny picked Missy up and put her on the floor. Missy jumped right back up. Granny put her down. Missy jumped right back up. Granny put her down. Missy jumped right back up. Granny put a little Limburger in Missy's dish, and Missy stayed in the kitchen to eat it. Granny went back to the table and spread some Limburger on her sourdough. Suddenly, there was Missy again! "Meow, meow, meow-ow-ow" she cried pitifully. Granny put her on the floor and picked up her bread and Limburger to take a bite and Missy jumped back on the table and took a bite of Granny's bread and Limburger! Right there, while Granny was biting into it. Well, Granny was convinced after that. She understood that Missy loves Limburger cheese. She understood that there was only one way Granny was going to be able to eat it. So, now when Granny has Limburger cheese, she brings a saucer for Missy to the table, and she makes sure that Missy has some for as long as Granny is eating it. Because, Granny understands that Missy can't resist Limburger cheese. And Granny says, "If you can't change it, learn to live with it."