Monday, July 03, 2006

Happy Anniversary

Today is Julie and Ted's 13th anniversary. Thirteen years ago we gathered in Ted's mother Susheela's back yard and the pundit (a real one, not somebody who talks on tv) performed the ceremony and our families were joined. Thirteen years ago I gained a wonderful son-in-law and became part of his family as he became part of mine. I have no idea how I became so lucky. Well, I know that Julie had a lot to do with it, as she is the one who fell in love and married him. And Susheela had a lot to do with it, as she brought him into this world and raised him. And Pops and Dan-Dan had a lot to do with it, as they were his fathers and showed him how to be a man. And the basic, intrinsic goodness of Ted himself had a lot to do with it.

I spent 10 of the 13 years that Ted has been my son-in-law working with women who were working to get their kids back out of foster care and that can give you a real strange perspective on men. So many of my clients were abused. Not only by their husbands. By their fathers and brothers and uncles and the guy across the street. And so many of those men not only abused my clients, but also their children. I long ago lost count of the number of women who had to choose between the men they somehow still loved and the children those men had injured.

Sometimes at the end of the day I would wonder what was wrong with the Y chromosome. And then I would look at the picture on my "Parent and Child" wall of Ted and Maya coloring together and the one of Ted and Maya both throwing their heads back and laughing with identical light in their eyes. And I would be soothed, because I would know that my girls were safe.


J said...

My friend Leslie used to work as a nurse giving chemo to children...she said when she switched over to daycare for healthy kids, the children all seemed like geniuses to her, because she was so used to the sick kids. So yeah, seeing a wonderful dad/husband like Ted must be quite the breath of fresh air!

Deja Pseu said...

What a wonderful wedding picture. They both look so divinely happy.

Cherry said...

What a wonderful, wonderful thing to say about your son-in-law and his family.

That more then brought a tear to my eye.

If only all families by marriage could be as thankful for each other. Strike that, if only all families could be as thankful and loving period.

I always knew, but now it is confirmed how J ended up to be such a wonderfully loving, caring and mindful mother, friend (and I assume) wife.