Friday, January 25, 2008

What I've Learned So Far

Deja Pseu over at Une femme d'un certain age has tagged me for a meme. Lessons in Hindsight So, this is the advise I would give to my 20 year old self if I could go back in time.

1. People walking down the street are too busy worrying about their own lives to give much thought to you. There is no need to be so damned self-conscious.

2. It came to pass. Whether it is good or bad, it will most likely pass. So enjoy the good stuff while it is here and relax about the rest of it. By the time that child is 35, she will have learned to tie her shoes. And she won't be living with you and available for the random hug.

3. There is no one road to happiness. Perhaps you'll do it the standard way, perhaps you won't. The same for your kids. The well marked path may be much more boring.

4. Question authority. About everything Trust your own experience. If your experience isn't the same as what you're told it should be, the problem may not be you. It may well be the advice.

5. If you've tried to do something twice and it hasn't worked, you need to try something else. Sometimes anything else would work.

6. Trust yourself. You really do know what you are feeling and whether you like someone or not and when you are hungry. You are who you are and that's good. You are supposed to get angry when people do cruel things. You are supposed to feel sad when you lose something or someone you value. You are supposed to come first once in a while. You are supposed to get older and have gray hair. And you are supposed to be round.

7. Laugh. A lot. Laughter heals a wondrous lot of problems. And it leaves nicer lines on your face.

8. Sometimes if you just hang in there long enough, the person who is driving you crazy will leave. When that happens, you've won. There you still are in the situation you love and there they are, gone.

9, Sometimes if you hang in there waiting for them to leave, they don't. The trick is to figure out which time this is and just how crazy the person is driving you.

10, You reap what you sow. Be kind. Be honest. Look for the good in people.

11. Diets make you fatter. All of them. Always. The more you go on, the fatter you get.

I'm not going to tag people on this one. If you want to do it, feel free. Let me know so I can see what wisdom you have gleaned over the years.

Two Women in a Garden by Kasimir Malevich


Deja Pseu said...

Sweet, succinct and so true! Thanks, Maya's Granny!

Gail Siptak said...

I am blown away by your blog. Your writing is inspiring. You write with such scope and depth about so many things that I, for one, find interesting and vital: being human, astronomy, Choice for women, politics, animals, being round (loved loved that post), animals, and your/our space in the world. You are at the top of my bookmarks, thanks. I look forward to further reading. Oh, and I found you through Elderbloging.

kenju said...

I agree with Gail!

Kelli said...

Beautiful words and fabulous advice. Thank you.

J at said...

I sometimes wonder if the 20 year old me would listen to me? I think she might, but some of it, you have to learn for yourself. Sadly.

Anvilcloud said...

I partly agree and partly disagree with #11 (diets). I think you're right about Atkins and the like, but I think that a lot now are simply good eating plans. As I mentioned previously, after four years, I still weigh less than I did. And I haven't been very good for the past two years. I almost enjoy getting back to the plan because I feel better both emotionally and physically when I'm eating right. I suspect, however, that were more on the same page than not and just emphasizing different aspects.

Maya's Granny said...

98% of diets result in the dieter weighing at least as much as when s/he started within five years. The more diets a person has been on, the more likely that the diet will result in a higher weight after rebound.
Anything other than paying attention to your body instead and eating what you want when you are hungry and stopping when you are no longer hungry is a diet. No matter what they call it. If you are eating what you should eat instead of what your body tells you that you need, it is a diet of some sort.

hedera said...

Great list. Item #1 reminds me of a saying I heard somewhere:

When you're twenty you worry terribly what people think of you.

When you're forty you don't give a damn what people think of you.

When you're sixty, you realize that nobody was thinking of you at all.

I am now sixty-one and have never seen this saying disproved.

donna said...

I'm sort of the opposite - I really did have it all figured out at 17 and then forgot it all. So I'm back to taking the advice of my 17 year old self these days!