Monday, February 25, 2008

Moving On


So there. It's said. I'm not going back to the apartment that I've loved so much. Or to my Hooligans. My books will probably be in storage for quite awhile until I'm able to live on my own again. Life is going to be different and I don't know how or when. But I suspect it will be an adventure. New things to discover. Being able to take a walk without worrying that I might fall on the ice. Days of sunshine and bright skies.

I really do love California. It's just different than Alaska. But, cheerful Charlie that I am, I'll focus on the produce and the closeness of family and the sunshine. The closeness of friends.

So Sunday night I almost picked a fight with my new night nurse over the blood pressure cuff. When I got here, one nurse was able to take my blood pressure with one cuff in a new position. That the reason my arm has hurt so much was that I am short between the shoulder and elbow and the broader cuffs are also too long. So, for a week I've been having relatively pain free blood pressure tests. Then tonight, Kittie decided that she doesn't buy into that theory and she is going to do it her way.

Part of me recognizes that she is wanting to take care of my health. Part of me feels the standard dismissal of a woman's report of her own body that medical science throws at us. Should I be fighting for my own reality? Allowing her to take care of me?

Is it worth a major battle? Is it part of an ongoing pattern that just feels like, "If you're going to be that fat, you can just suffer the pain, and that'll teach you!"

Too much time on my hands, not enough intellectual grist to chew on! (J's note - I know mom wishes she could go on the internet right now...)

I wake in the morning and there is a white board at my feet. It tells me the day and date, where to find Julie, and the name of the nurse today. Kitty is taking readings and telling me all is getting better. I'm used to being checked on in the mornings by a cat who is concerned by my health. This is a very nice Kitty. A good way to start my day. "You," Kitty tells me, "should write all this down."

"I am," I tell her. A woman can be forgiven for the blood pressure cuff if she recognizes talent when she sees it.

The nurses and doctors have the recliner thing to wrestle with every day. (J's note - there is a recliner in the room, and a nurse early on showed Richard how to work it. It's not intuitive, and I have since given training to two other nurses on how it works. It's stupid that they haven't been shown, because, as I said, it's not intuitive, which a recliner certainly SHOULD be.) It shouldn't be that hard to open. It makes me mad how hard that is for them to do. Why hasn't anyone taught the staff of this hospital how to open the chair without injuring themselves? Why isn't the chair designed better? It shouldn't be that people who are trying to help you are being hurt!


Anvilcloud said...

I was away for a week and then somewhat distracted (when am I not?), so I am just really catching up. You've had quite an experience. I wish you well in both the near and far future. I'll try to be better at checking in. :)

Anonymous said...

Dearest Joycelyn, I have thought about you all day and hope you are doing okay. Did you have your surgery? I'm not sure what today's post means...are you having to move away?
Please know you are being thought of with much love for a speedy recovery.

Anonymous said...

Oh...I so wish you could have your Hooligans with you.

I am thinking good thoughts for your recovery. You are an amazing woman - and you'll get more time with your Maya in California, right?

Uncivil said...

Whew! I know you have to tired of sleeping in that chair J. I admire your teamwork on keeping us updated!
Keep em on their toes Granny!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Joycelyn!
Just wanted you to know that I'll be thinking about you here in Rio. My mother went through a bypass surgery 2 years ago and she's better than before, much healthier than me, actually! All the best to you and your family.
Bec, OO friend from Rio de Janeiro

shortwoman said...

I hope you are doing much better very soon.

And of course I hope you have a nice cat-sitter for the Hooligans.

Deja Pseu said...

Joycelyn, I've been thinking about you constantly since I read about you going to the hospital. I'm so sorry you have to move and find a new home for the Hooligans, but in California you'll be in (occasional) visiting distance. Dea and I may have to plan a road trip...

Glad to hear you're doing better. I'm holding good thoughts for your surgery, and sending you my love.

kenju said...

So, you'll be living in California for a while? No ice and snow to worry about....that's good. Where will the hooligans go?

I am hoping that you will be well soon, J.

Joy Des Jardins said...

Hi Joycelyn,

You have been on my mind...a lot. What a lot of adjustments, huh? Your humor will get you through anything sweetie....even this. It doesn't matter where you beautiful personality will get you through all of it. Rest well...and know that you are in our hearts...and in our thoughts. Much love, Joy

Rain said...

Best wishes for your surgery and your new lifestyle for awhile. I have known a lot of people who had by-passes and they do get back to a full life many times better than they had before the surgery. It just takes time and patience.

Linda Atkins said...

Hi, Joycelyn. Little OO is thinking about you and sending good wishes! I am so sorry about the Hooligans. I hope you'll enjoy being back in CA, and I hope maybe I can come to the Deja Pseu-Dea-Joycelyn party--that sounds fun!

Laura said...

We continue to keep you in our thoughts here. I have heard the California sunshine speeds healing. Take care and many hugs.

Mary Lou said...

I am so sad to hear that you cant stay in ALaska, and that you have to give up your babies! That would hurt me more than anything else!

I am hoping tomorrow's surgery goes well for you. Keep us posted!
FIngers are all crossed!!