Wednesday, March 26, 2008

What Shall I Rave About Today?

So here it is 9:16 in the AM and I'm trying to figure out what to write about today. My left hand has gone numb for some reason, which makes it hard to type. I have lots I want to say but not much skill to say it.

One of the major problems with the last couple of years was my job. I wrote about the job that I loved, Burnout*. How I left it and found another that wasn't as good a fit and I got very sick and left that job. It took some time to be well enough to find another job. The job with the teens I never intended to stay with for long because it was too easy but at the same time I felt like I wasn't doing a good job. I realize now that I was sick the entire 18 months I was in that job. And when it ended I couldn't find another job. Every application I submitted resulted in an interview.

I have never before gone more than 3 interviews without an offer. Now, 20 interviews. Not a single offer. Talk about depressed.

* This computer at the extended care won't load pictures or link posts. (J's note, I liked it for you, mom. :) )


J at said...

I think you were so clearly ill, that people didn't want to take a chance with you. But of course to say so would be to open themselves up to a lawsuit. That's my guess.

I'm sorry that you had to leave that job that you loved. That it burned you out and the pain got to be too much. That it changed and wouldn't have been a good match anymore anyway. I wish you had found another job that you would have liked as much, and gotten it and been healthy and loved it and been great at it, like every other job you had ever had.

joared said...

So glad to learn you're on the mend in rehab.! Glad they have a computer you can use. If you have any energy left after therapy, lobby for computers there. As an SLP that's what I've been doing, finally successfully in one SNF/Rehab. in a retirement community I serve. Activities Director and Soc. Serv. have been very supportive of my goals.

You're keenly astute about your emotional adjustments, so trust you're being kind to yourself, allowing a wide range of feelings you may experience. Whatever helps, unload it here, 'cause we care about your recovery.

Your post today sounds to me like the job problem was, unfortunately, ageism -- plain and simple.

Hang in there with those therapists -- easy to get discouraged. Make the most of the time with them as that's likely the one location where you'll be able to obtain the most therapy.

kenju said...

You are so obviously good at what you dis and so intelligent; J must be right - that you were obviously ill - and that's why they wouldn't take a chance with hiring you.

donna said...

You have new work for now, taking care of YOU.

Sometimes it's the hardest work of all. My mom spent all her time taking care of others, and ended up too sick to finally even take care of herself. So for now, that's your job, take care of yourself. The rest will come with a bit of time.

Judy in Houston said...

Rant and rave away! Even if it's from a computer that won't let you do everything you want. It'll do you good.

I'm so glad to see you posting again. Life really ripped the rug right out from under you and now you're having to find your firm footing again.

I know that you can do it. If anyone can come through this and thrive again, it's you. Whether you can see that for yourself right now or not, just know that there are a lot of us out here who are holding that vision for you.

So keep on ranting!